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Friday, April 20, 2012

A Story From a Future Dentist - part 9

My course was yet to start and I was in a completely confused and depressed state of mind. All day and night long, I was only thinking about what would happen. My main concern was how I would go through a whole professional course of study without not being interested the least. And at the same time, I knew that my parent would not allow me to study anywhere else. My own financial situation was far from letting me dream of studying on my own. Unless one is from a country like ours, people would not really understand why we depend on our parents so much regarding financial matter. When the job market is not adequate for the professional ones, a school graduate can not even dream about any earning opportunity. The mental dependency on the parents is in fact an outcome of the financial dependency and our social structure does not allow us to think beyond the parental control domain.


Anyways, in those terrible days my thought process was stuck and I really could not think of any way out. I knew that only a miracle could help and miracles do not actually happen on their own. Besides, I had already lost a few valuable years of my life and my parents could not afford to bear my unfruitful years anymore. I don't know how it happened, but somehow in between my depressive state, I had a strange sort of realization. I started to feel like that it was my life after all. I could be sad and pathetic and bear the remorse in my heart for the rest of my life, or I could accept whatever happened and make ways so that I can adapt to the changes. I also realized that it was on my shoulder then to pull my life from the terrible situation I was in. Whatever the reason was behind my getting admitted into the Dental College, if I needed to be stable in my life, I myself will have to work for it. So, just before I would start to go the classes, I made up my mind to try it seriously. And in fact I was an inexperienced one, nothing did I know anything about being a dentist. Why should I despise this profession or the studies when I had not even tried it.

By the time, my class days were there, I kind of prepared myself for this new life. Although I did not have a definite idea about the life of a medical student, I knew this much for sure that this life was not going to be a very smooth and peaceful one. Whatever I have heard from a  few friends of mine ( who were already students of medicine), I knew that the study of medicine needed direction and determination. And with a confused state of mind I would be landing nowhere. In the meanwhile, I one day had a long chat with an online friend of mine. She was a very positive person and she believed that the key to happiness lies in our own hand. Life can present us all sorts of uncomfortable situations and all sorts of unpleasant surprises, but it was completely u to us how we would go through that and handle our lives. I was also thinking in line. I decided, if this is the only option for me, I better make the most out of this. May be this was going to be the best opportunity that I could expect from my life. In that case, why should I waste it? I suddenly started to feel a positive energy inside me and something inside me was whispering to me that may be it was not going to be that bad in the end if I myself take the control over the situation.

Well, this new feeling definitely made sense to me. It was obvious that I can not get whatever I want in my life. But that does not necessarily mean that, I should still bang my head on a closed door or  go on nagging over something that I cannot do or achieve. So, I was determined to give my best shot to the study of dentistry. And if I do something, I should do it wholeheartedly. I knew that any mistaking or derailing down the line will create a complete mess of my life. And I cannot let that happen to me. My parents also became aware of this change of attitude in me and they seemed happy. So, instead of  being depressed, I was kind of waiting for a challenge to start, a challenge to turn every odd to even. And in fact, nothing can bring peace to your mind, other than yourself.